The Dream Sequence
What does it mean to dream again?
Yesterday I had my first horseback lesson in about 20 years?! I have been looking forward to it since the beginning of January, and did a GRWM video (TikTok / Insta) when I had to cancel my lesson due to a D.C. snow storm (hardly a storm compared to New England, but pretty major for the area).
My bestie Chanel and I set out on the horseback lesson journey together. We stopped at Vigilante coffee for some caffeine and bites, then headed to the farm. We met our instructor and the horse we would be riding. I was instantly intimidated by his power and size, and he was absolutely sizing us up and determining if he could successfully intimidate us (it’s so funny in retrospect).
I remember feeling fear. Fear is such an unusual phenomenon for me in my early 30s. The JoJo all the way through her 20s was so fearless, she never second guessed herself, never doubted herself. She went after everything she wanted and didn’t believe even for one second that she didn’t belong somewhere. She was pretty strong-willed and unshakable.
Life has its way of changing your so subtly, and one day you wake up and realize how safe and settled you’ve become. Safe and settled is by no means a negative thing, if you know the way you wanted your life to land, safe and settled is success. In the past couple years, I’ve been waking up from a safe and settled daze. I’m in a space I wanted to be for a short period. I live and work in Washington, D.C., I have a beautiful apartment and great friends. I have a little life that I worked very hard to build for myself.
Continued below …
In the past couple years, everything I thought felt nice and safe is disrupting? A confusing and disappointing breakup, an uncertain job market and my dog passing away has really put me in a new space that asks a lot of questions, and made me realize that I stopped dreaming.
Right now, I have been challenging myself to dig deep on what it means to dream again. Dreaming without fear, dreaming without doubt. I’m doing the brave work of living and existing in my personal dream sequence.
